Jake Lodwick’s Blog

Here is my “STANDARDS” project, continued. Evolution is occurring.

• The first two rules are the same: three regular meals and one 3-hour creative block per day.
• One 1-hour book reading block was changed to one hour reading print to allow more flexible scheduling, and to permit magazines.
• Added Begin bed routine by 11pm to prevent myself from losing sanity.
• Decided it’s better to get an imperfect score than to feel guilty or to exhaust myself. Will not push myself over the edge again.
• Began keeping track of suggestions for new rules (in purple). This buffer is necessary because I can’t modify the ruleset in the middle of the week. Example: 10 minutes/day of apartment improvement (not maintenance)?
• Began tracking other useful self-data below the rules:
• BAD MEALS is teaching me that I may be lactose intolerant (!) and that I shouldn’t drink Muscle Milk unless I’ve been recently active (duh).
• BUGS is a log of actions and thoughts that interfere with my goals. Example: Automatic could = should/will refers to a tendency to want to implement ideas just because I had them, as if any idea that struck me was automatically good! Reminds me of bicameralism - yeesh!
• ORDERS is an attempt to guide my future behavior, to ‘boss myself around’. I’m experimenting with statements of fact vs commands. I have a feeling that my future self is stubborn and will evade commands. So rather than saying, “Avoid drinking fluouride”, I said, “Fluoride is poison.”

I realize these posts are pretty self-indulgent and not exactly exciting content, but it’s very helpful for me — and may lead to the creation of exciting things in the future! In the past I have always worked in a structure, or worked without one and promptly lost control. The great artists and inventors of the world must possess superhuman self-discipline. I want to get there, I know I can, but building the vehicle takes real work! I’m building a custom machine, from scratch. There is no blueprint, only an abstract end-goal and a concession that complex things must be built through a gradual process of trial-and-error. I can envision myself as an enlightened, productive, balanced, creative man, but that’s just my imagination. The organism is playing make-believe, not observing reality. But that’s enough to keep me going. No other vision or incentive can compel me. It’s either pursue your highest vision of yourself or waste away gradually. By thinking about it clearly, I see that no choice exists.